everyone says “just get out and leave everything behind in the event of a house fire” like no fuck that shit im grabbing every electronic i can hold
are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes
with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks
That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it
If you would like Tumblr users to like you, remove the post limit and word limit on messages.
If you place ads on our dash or charge for use every month, there will be a war. You have an army. We have a hulk.
the first person to witness someone die for the first time musta been like bro wake up
I seriously worship this girl.
Same she is awesome!!
You unfollow me because you’re afraid of falling in love with me, I know
bisexual guys are assumed to be secretly gay
bisexual girls are assumed to be secretly straight
both are assumed to secretly like men
see what i’m getting at?
Don’t forget that gay men are gay because they lacked a “strong male figure”. And lesbians either haven’t found the right man or are gay because of a guy.